Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lilrox16's LiveJournal:

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Monday, August 18th, 2008
7:32 pm	It's been three weeks since I have written in this thing, so I figure I should do so here. Things are going pretty okay. Jake and I are doing just fine, so are our three puppies. School for me is a lot of work, and this semester a lot of stress, but I'm doing my best to truck-on-through-it. :) Things are, in a sense, getting a little bit easier. The main troubling issue involves my parents. They are going through some pretty hard times right now. My father is immensely stressed out, and trying to cope with the suicide of his brother. He is not handling it well. The unfortunate side effect of him not being able to deal with everything is, he seems to be completely taking all his anger, frustration, feelings of guilt (from my uncles death), and stress out on my mom. This is taking a huge toll on her. There are other factors in play that make me worry about their relationship, unfortunatley, not ones that I am comfortable writing here. Bottom line is, they've been having big troubles for quite some time...my mom now has her own personal and private savings account and is saving money to move out and separate from my dad. This weekend my mom broke down to me and told me everything that has been occurring, all of which I had no clue was going on. What can I do to help them? I don't know what to say to them, what advise to give to make things better. Deep inside my gut it feels like my family is falling apart, and it's killing me. If things (and I pray they don't get this far) turn the worst way they could, and my parents end up getting a divorce, despite the fact that I am an adult, I'm going to be extremely hurt, worried, and probably pretty depressed. Right now I feel as if there's nothing I can do but sit aside and watch my parents relationship crumble even further, and it hurts... And to my good buddy Richelle, try to chin up deary. You've had one heck of a rough summer, if you ever need to talk or get out/get away for a while just give me a call. God Bless you and take care of you always. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 28th, 2008
11:46 am	Catching up It, once again, has been quite a while since I have written in this journal. It has been a hard past couple months, but things are finally starting to smooth out a little bit. I'm pretty stressed with school right now. My pathiophysiology I, pharmacology, and medical lab II classes are quite challenging this semester. Hopefully everything will work out fine. (I'll be studying hard) I'm finally starting to get a little more rest (thank goodness!)and my family is doing better. My mother went in for a major surgery a couple weeks ago and is doing much better. She had a tumor about the size of a baby's head taken out along with one of her ovaries, fallopian tubes, complete uterus, and cervix. Her surgery ran about an hour late, so my dad and I were freaking out/worrying pretty bad in the waiting room. Thank goodness it is over and my mom is back to her ol-spunky self. :) I worry about my father a lot. He is under a huge amount of stress because of his job, and on top of that his brother (my uncle Jon) passed away a couple weeks ago. He decided to end his own life, and it has been very hard for the family to deal with. My dad won't admit it, but I'm almost certain he blames himself for his brothers death. He tries to cover up what he is going through, but everyone can see through it. There are times I swear I can sense how my dad is feeling, and it puts an instant lump in my throat. I wish I could make the hurt go away for everyone. I wish there was something I could do to help, but I don't know what to do. How do you help someone who's sibling and loved one committed suicide? One of the main worries (because my family and I are all very religious) is for his soul. Despite the fact my uncle made some very bad life choices, he had such a kind side too, unlike anything I have ever known. He had extreme highs and extreme lows. (he was bi-polar) I know God does take pity on tortured souls and weighs everything, the good and the bad when he makes his decision about him. We're just hoping God took pity on him. I guess for now the only thing I can do is give it time. It will get easier... Jake and I are doing great though. Married life is pretty cool. :) Jake has been a huge support for me the past couple months through everything, and I am so grateful. I wish there was a way I could show my gratitude towards him. I am extremely blessed to be with him. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 31st, 2008
10:17 pm	What the Heck? What the hell is the matter with the Catholic church? Jake and I were informed the other day that there was a chance that Jake (who is a Catholic) was going to be ex-communicated from the Catholic church because he is being married by a Lutheran pastor. Of course, both Jake and I were upset because that is a completely foolish move to make-ex-communicating someone because they are being married by someone in a different denomination. So to be safe Jake and I scheduled a meeting with a father Tom here in St. Cloud to confirm that the information we had heard was indeed not true. Everything was going along fine until the father brought out a document to us saying we had to promise that we will baptize and raise our children up as Catholics, otherwise not only will our marriage not be recognized by the Catholic church, but Jake would indeed be ex-communicated. What the fuck? No church-Lutheran or Catholic has the right to try to make us raise our children the way THEY want us to. I'll raise my children how I see fit, not by what any high up arrogant bishop says! Ironically, father Tom gave us a brochure that would further explain the document the church wants us to sign. He also advised us that although the document stated, "You promise to baptize and raise your children according the the Catholic Church", that the true meaning of that phrase was not a promise. He stated that it really wasn't a promise at all, but just something stating we would get our children baptized, and if we decided to go into another branch of Christianity (such as Lutheran) we are open to do so, the contract would then be voided without any negative repercussions. Now I read the booklet he gave us through several times, and both the legal document he wanted us to sign and the booklet state the complete opposite. The booklet he gave us stated that the church assumes the Catholic party is true to their faith and will not change-therefore they are required to make a pledge to raise their children according to whatever the church says. What a bunch of SHIT!!!!!! No one has the right to tell me how I am going to raise my kids! No One! What the father told us and what us written (that we have to agree to) are two completely opposite things! Well Jake and I went home to discuss the matter, which has lead to a nasty fight. I was calm and thinking rationally about the matter at the time. The unfortunate truth is that the Catholic church has majorly crossed the line. I advised Jake that in my opinion, I wouldn't sign the legal document with the print we would be agreeing to being completely opposite of what was told to us. It doesn't make logical sense, and why would anyone in their right mind sign something that isn't making sense? I brought up the suggestion that we get in contact with the father tomorrow and ask him to re-type the document in the words he told us, that way we would be signing (on paper legally) and agreeing to what he stated, not what was written on the paper now. If he is telling the truth there shouldn't be a problem doing so. Logical and simple solution if the Catholic church is being truthful with us right? (Before I continue, let me advise you that before Jake and I went into this meeting with the father, we agreed not to sign anything that had the word "promise" or anything stating how to raise our children-again, that is for us to decide, no one else.) When I asked Jake what he wanted to do-he stated he wants to just sign this legal document stating we will raise our children Catholic because he doesn't want to be ex-communicated-completely going against what we mutually agreed upon! He's willing to sign it promising the church we will raise our children according to the way they want, which could very well end up being a lie because we haven't chosen a specific church yet. He said he wants to agree to their terms (by signing it) and just hide it from the church if he decides to be a Lutheran. You don't lie to a church! You just don't go and do stuff like that-if a church (and I would feel the same was if Lutherans were shoving the same crap down my throat) tries to force you to raise your children a certain way, then there's something seriously wrong with your church!!!!! Now I have no problem with turning Catholic, just like Jake has no beef with being a Lutheran-I have major issues with someone telling me/trying to force me to raise my children a certain way. So, Jake and I are fighting now. Jake wants to sign this legal document saying we will raise our kids Catholic, and I refuse to let any church tell me what to do. We've got to find a way to solve this quick-out wedding is just around the corner. Bottom line is-I'm not going to let anyone tell me how to raise my future children-no one has the right to do so-and Jake is caving in to unreasonable demands made by the church. If we can't get this resolved the wedding is going to be postponed. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
11:35 am	Just a quick one. This is going to have to be a quick entry. I finished all my work for today and have a little while until I have to be in class. To sum things up, the college semester for me at Rasmussen is coming to an end next week (Yeah!)and I am a bit nervous about my finals. They are not going to be easy. Hopefully everything will turn out okay. My wedding is coming up faster than I can shake a stick at. Only about a month and a half away. Before I know it I am going to be known as Mrs. Jacob Schwartz! The pastor Jake and I are getting married by (Pastor Langemo) is a wonderful man. We are very blessed to have him as our pastor. :) My three puppies, Smith, Wesson, and Colt are doing awesome. Spunky as ever. I have a little trip I am going to take to the doctors shortly. I was knocked down the stairs in my house by Colt (he was running after his ball that fell down the stairs and Bam! Knocked me in the back on my legs), got a concussion and think I might have either bruised my humerus bone or worse case scenario, a fissure or hairline fracture of the bone. But hopefully everything will turn out okay. I have to run now. Take care all, be safe! Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
8:40 am	Wow, it has been a long time since I have written in this thing. Okay, to start off, things are going good, busy, but good. My three puppies, Smith, Wesson, and Colt are doing great! Colt, my youngest puppy, is going to be turning 7 months old and is already 80 pounds and well above my knee height wise! He is a huge puppy! The vet believes she is going to be a 150+ dog. Dang is all I can say!!!! Dang! :) But I love him like crazy. I am now an auntie. Jake's sister Juleena had a little baby girl, Eden. She is now 4 months old and the cutest little thing to ever walk the face of the earth. I love her! Anytime you walk up to her she always has a smile on her face. It's so cute! Her and Jake are nap buddies. I come over and see them taking little spells of sleep together all the time. My little brother Adam and Mary's little brother David are going to be moving into my house and renting from me shortly. That, I am very excited for. My older brother Alex already rents from us. Adam is going to start moving his things in the end of July and David is going to move in shortly after he gets back from his 2 year deployment in Iraq. (this upcoming July) Things could get interesting. I'm going to be in a house full of nothing but male testosterone. (Goodness gracious, help me. ) hee-hee. Anyways, I'm anxiously awaiting these changes to happen. :) Things are going great for the wedding. The only things I literally have left are to pick out the flowers, and make my big fancy cake. That's it. :) It's quite a relief though, not having to worry about hardly anything because it is taken care of so far in advance. sigh of relief. If any of you have some suggestions for flowers, I am completely open to them. Just let me know. I am horrible at stuff like that and have no clue what I am going to be doing for flowers, except I would like some white roses in there somewhere. I suppose I should be going. I have to go and help set up a parade in St.Cloud today. It's going to be fun, but a busy day. Take care you all. Bye! P.S. Don't worry Richelle, you won't be forgotten by me after I'm married. If anything, I'm going to try to visit more! Take care and bye! Current Mood: happy Current Music: anything perky (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 8th, 2007
3:58 pm	Dang The past week has been a long one for me. Juleena (Jakes little sister) had a beautiful baby girl. Eden Marie Schwartz 6 pounds 9 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. She is an angel! :) The delivery was very stressful and scary. The baby was positioned badly in Juleena, so after 15 hours of pushing and trying to deliver the baby, she had to be rushed off for an emergency c-section. When she was rushed off I gave Diane (Jakes mom) a long long hug, and she started crying on my shoulder. I, as well as her whole family were terrified, so I can't blame her mom for crying. I was close to doing the same thing, but I was able to suck it up and not cry for his mom's sake. But, thanks to God (he was really watching over her and the baby) both mommy and baby are doing fine now! :) When you are reading this, say a quick prayer of thanks if you could. These two are dear to me and a lot of people, and God helped them pull through. I am very grateful. Besides that, I was going to go wedding dress shopping with my mom this past Saturday. My mom was fine Friday night, but woke up sick as could be on Saturday with the flu. I spent Saturday, taking care of my moms house, helping hold her hair while she was "sick" over the toilet in the bathroom, and watching over my mom all day. The poor little thing was sooooo sick. I felt horrible for her! And all my mom did the whole day, regardless of how many times I told her there was no need, was apologize to me for supposedly ruining my day. (it wasn't ruined at all, I would rather make sure she is okay that go out and do any kind of shopping) So, we have planned for next Saturday if everything works out. I have no clue what kind of dress to get. If any of you have any suggestions, please let me know. Oh, and Richelle, will you be a bridesmaid and sing a song at the wedding? You have such a pretty voice, you were the first one I thought of. :) The wedding is hopefully (depending if I can get the church) be April 26.2008 at 4:00pm. The beautiful Mary Moore is my maid of honor (take a bow babe!) and Juleena and Beth are the other bridesmaids. Not too sure what I'm doing with anything other that the basics yet, I'll have to get back to you on that. :) My mom and I were going through what songs to play at the wedding, and of course, my dad had to chime in. He requests that we play, "Living on a Sex Farm" in the church, and wants our invitation to state-This thing is going down April 28, 2008. Are you going to come? If yes-bring a gift and money. If no-go f*** yourself. My dad is horrible, but funny and I love him! (giggle) Anyways..... I should be going now. I have a lot do do and little time to so it in. Take care and God belss all! Current Mood: happy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
7:29 am	Jake and I Jake and I are engaged! :) The ring is awesome, I'm getting it back Thursday. (the ring was a size 7, and I have a 6 finger) It's going to be a long engagement, mainly because right now he is so busy with his business and I want to finish college before marriage. Both my parents and his are completely happy about it! And it's very nice, I lucked out big time with my inlaws. They're all really great people! Woo-hoo! I have to get back to work. I'll write more later! Bye! Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 9th, 2006
7:28 am	Hey there. This is going to have to be a quick update because I have tp get to work really soon. Things are going great for Jake and I. We're both keeping really busy. I am going to the college today to make sure things are all set up for me to start full time next semester again. I have been going part time, and can't stand it. Full time is the way for me to go. :) On Saturday David (Mary's little brother) is throwing a party at his house, and I think I am the sober ride. It should be really fun. :) I have to go. I have to get to work. Bye and hope you're all doing well! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
6:49 am	Moving Things are starting to look up a bit. Jake and I got a great offer, actually a steal to rent a house, where our puppies can come to live with us! The normal rent is anywhere from $800$-$850 per month, but since Jake is friends with the guy who owns the house, we are getting it for $450 a month. It's a 4 bedroom house with a two car garage. Hopefully everything will go through. As much as I love my parents, I really don't want to move back in. I like living on my own, having the freedom. The only thing I worry about is the winter for bills. The only thing we would have to pay is the rent and utilities. How much they are, I don't know. Before anything is a deffinate yes, we have to check into all of this stuff, which is what we are doing over the next week. You see, during the winter, work is a lot slower for Jake, and I know I won't be able to afford the cost of rent, utilities, and household appliances alone. I don't get paid too much. I also am sick and tired of going to school part time. I am thinking about taking this upcoming semester off from school, and then starting up again in the Spring full time. I only have a year and a half to go, and I want to finish it asap. Going part time makes you feel as if you are getting no where, and I hate it. Which brings up another worry:I'm not going to be able to work full time with my full time classes. That burden will, sadly, fall upon Jakes shoulders. I was talking to him, and he said he will be able to do it, but I worry about it. Say a prayer for us if you could, to help us make it on our own. Thank you guys. Any advice or comments you have on the matter would be greatly appreciated. Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Friday, August 4th, 2006
6:43 am	Things have been kind of down lately. One of my roomates is a complete slaker and makes life miserable. she does nothing but cheat on her boyfriend, and has admitted cheating on him to me. She is a very spoiled child, mommy and daddy pay for everything, including her non stop partying every night, so she knows no responsibility and has no clue how to take consequences for her actions. I clean the house well, so it is spotless during the beginning of the week, and by Wednesday it is completely trashed. When I go up and tell her to clean her mess, she repays me by going everywhere and badmouthing me. Saying I never clean the house or take care of the animals, I'm a lazy slob, ext ext. Her bad mouthing me (which she has been doing for a long time, no new news) and everything else is getting tiring. If it actually makes her feel like a woman to go and do nothing but lie to people, then more power to her. I'm just tired of it all. Her and her boyfriend are bringing drugs into the house (I've fund them more than once) and they don't care that if they are found kiss Mary, My, and Jakes futures goodbye. I really do not want to leave. I really, really love Jake, and I adore Mary, but I can't put my future/career at risk because of two frickin spoild, selfish children. (jon, Jake's brother and his slut of a girlfriend Amanda) I'm waiting until the first week in September, and if wither Jakes parents don't do anything about the situation (which they haven't been)or at least Amanda gets he slutty ass out of the house, I'm gone. I'm tired of being taken advantage of and not being able to speak up because he is "Jon's girlfriend". You can only be taken advantage of so long before you say, Fuck it! (sorry about the language, I am really frustrated and down right now.) Hopefully she will be leaving. If any of you have any advice, please let me know. Thanks. Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
1:21 pm	It has been a long long time since I have written in this thing. Ummmm, where should I start. Okay, I moved from my house in Little Falls. I am currently living in South Haven, just outside of St.Cloud. I have been dating the greatest/kindest/most handsome man ever known to man kind. (Jacob Schwatrz, I love Ya Baby!) We've been dating for over nine months, and we're stronger than ever! Woo-hoo! I have fallen very,very,very hard for this boy, and apparently he has for me as well. (I don't know why, but heck! I love it!) I'm still going to school for the nursing program, and some how pulling off the decent grades while working a good 50 hours a week at the same time. I wish I could tell you more, but I really have to go. I'm typing this at work now, and I should really get going on my paper work. Take care everybody! I love you all! Love, Roxy Current Mood: happy Current Music: Just to See you Smile-Tim McGraw (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 4th, 2005
12:42 pm	I had a blast yesterday! Jon, Lisa, Jeremiah, a bunch of their friends (I can't remember all of their names)and I went to the Twins game. It was awesome! :) I have to say, watching baseball on television is so very boring, but when you are watching it in person, you really get into it, just like soccer. Anyways, it was really fun. Our seats were pretty high (nose bleed seats) but it turned out to be for the better. You had the best view in the whole area. You could see everything. I started trash talking a bit about the Twins (just to see if I could get anyones goat), and Jeremiah threatened to throw me down the stairs. Violent little guy isn't he? (hee-hee)Anyways...what was the point I was attempting to make....oh yeah, it was fun. :) Apparently two of Jon's friends were staring at me pretty badly throughout the game. (I didn't notice until Lisa pointed it out.) It was kind of weird. I'm certain they are very nice people, but it kind of creaped me out. When people I hardly know stare at me, I get self conscious. Both Lisa and Jon believed that they were doing so because they were probably wondering about Jeremiah and I. Even if that is true, please don't be rude...don't stare. (I'm not angry about this in any manner, I just thought it was weird, that's all. I'm not used to people looking or staring at me.) I was able to speak with Lisa and Jon a little bit about the person I see in more than a friendly way. They gave me their opinions on the matter. Even Lisa proclaimed that it is hard to read him, really see what is within his mind. Whether this turns out to be in my favor or no, I know without a doubt that I have made a really good friend, and for that I am extremely grateful. :) I have faith that everything will work out in the end. Everything happens for a reason. If it is meant to be, it will happen. :) Take care everybody! Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
1:28 am	I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. (a lot more than the relationship thing I asked you all about) I've been thinking a whole lot about the past year and a half or so. Not feeling bad about it, just thinking...reflecting on everything that has occurred, the changes that have been made. God knew what he was doing all along. When the reality that Josh had cheated on me hit me hard, God wasn't trying to hurt me or (excuse my language) bitch slap me in anyway. He was giving me something not too many people receive...a second chance. A chance to get myself on the right path, straighten myself out, stop hanging out with bad people and get my act together. (there's no other way to describe the people I viewed as my friends back then...they are simply bad, extremely immoral people.) Since I left Josh over a year ago, I've been able to figure out what I really want to do with my life... I want to help people. I've learned what I am capable of doing, that I'm not as weak as I thought I was. (had you come up to me three years ago and told me that I would be able to turn around and flat out walk away from someone I loved more than life itself...I would have just laughed.) It gave me a back bone. I no longer let people take advantage of me. I stand up for myself, something that I never truly did before then. Most importantly, it made me realize the kind of man I would like to be with someday. I have a far better understanding of myself, my friends, and family. For all those I hurt in the past because of my stupid, childish behavior, I do apologize. You shouldn't have had to go through what you did, but you stuck by me anyway. (whether you were there in person or remaining silent.) I've put you through more crap than any person should have been, and for that I am truly sorry. But do know that I learn from my mistakes, and as God as my witness these will never be repeated again. I know, without a doubt that I am on the right path now. I've found my way. I'm pointed in the right direction and I have no intentions of swaying from in in any manner. Thank you dear Lord for helping me...and God Bless you all. Current Mood: rejuvenated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
2:31 pm	hi there! I figured I would write in this thing since I haven't done so in a while. Not too terribly much has happened. I'm finished with my college for this year, and am currently working full time saving money. :) Chris and I stopped seeing each other a long while ago. We spoke one evening, and decided that we are better off being friends. The long distance was starting to bother us. A two or three hour distance, we could handle no problem, but he's a bit over a two day drive away. That's a little far and a little hard for two young people to pull off. But, since it was a mutual decision and we decided we like being friends better, there are no hard feelings. (doing happy dance) We still text each other and everything as friends. It's awesome! I do like someone in more than a friendly way at the current moment, despite the fact that I don't know him extremely well. I'm unsure of whether anything will come of this, but as long as we are friends I'll be fine. Mary seems to think that he does like me, but I am still really unsure. It seems as if his messages contradict one another. For instance, the last time we went out and did something together in a group, he kept his arms crossed and his distance from me the whole evening. He almost seemed as if he were terribly uncomfortable being around me. Meanwhile, at the same time I could swear I caught him glancing at me out of the corner of his eye a couple times. I'm very aware of the fact that I could be mistaken about this, but it just seems odd, that's all. I'm completely perplexed, confound you might say. Normally I have been able to tell at least a little bit how an individual views me, but this time I don't know what to think. (it's rather intriguing.) I spoke with Paul the other night on the matter, and he seems to think the best way of going about this is to be straight forward, to go and ask him what he thinks the next time I see him. I fear that acting so boldly might be a mistake. If he appeared to be uncomfortable simply standing next to me, imagine how he would respond being asked such a personal question. I do hate to bother you all, but I could use a little bit of advice on this matter. (funny little thing, I can help others if they ask me about their personal lives, but I seem to be completely oblivious when it comes to my own.) I am unsure of what to do. Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy or feeling sorrowful in any manner, I'm simply curious...so any advice you can give would be very much appreciated. Thank you all and God Bless you! Take care! Current Mood: curious (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
10:44 am	Things have been going pretty well for me. I've been really busy, but all in all, pretty darn good. :) My cousin Allen came over to my house yesterday. I love it when he comes over! We've been best friends for a bit over 20 years now, and we still continue to go strong! We sat down on my couch and started watching South Park for the longest time. To be honest, I was leaning against him, and I almost fell asleep. Curse me and the falling asleep whenever you get warm thing! Anyways, we wrestled around a bunch and had a jolly ol-time. :) My parents ended up going to this meeting thing for our church the other night. They were going to vote on whether or not to build a new church. I swaer, the majority of the people who go there are dumb as rocks! They have it in their head that we are going to build a brand new, huge church, but the only problem is, there is no money to do it! Anyways, I should be going. I have some math I should get done. Bye! Current Mood: mellow (Comment on this)
Monday, January 10th, 2005
7:01 pm	Hey there everybody! Well, today was the first day of college, and I have to say, for the most part, it was extremely boring! There wasn't anything to do, and I was bord out of my mind. (though, I really shouldn't complain, I'm going to have plenty of work coming my way soon enough.) I actually saw my older brother for a little bit today. I sat down by him and we talked for quite a long time. It actually felt kind of nice knowing that he's not embarrassed of me. :) I always thought he was. Just as Alex had to go, so did I. I was going to go and try to check my e-mail at the college, well... it didn't exactly happen. I met up with Marty half way to the computer lab. Well, we started talking, which was pretty fun. He's such a happy go lucky guy, you can't help but be in a good mood around him. :) I had roughly two hours to waste until my next class began, and I ended up spending that whole 2 hours chatting away with him. Since we seem to have classes that are very similar, we exchanged numbers and are probably going to get together sometime (whether it be in the tech college or the library at St.Cloud State) to study sometime. He can help me with my anatomy, and I can help him with his microbiology. :) (Mary, if you ever need to do some studying and wish to come along, you are more than welcome to. :) The more the merry-er!) Well I do suppose I should be going now. Believe it or not, I have a little bit of homework to do. I'll write more later. Bye!!! Current Mood: grateful (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 9th, 2005
7:02 pm	Hello there people! I've actually had a pretty good day today. The Vikings won (dang!) but they played an awfully good game, so I can't get too down on them. (imagining the smile on Mary's face right now. I can't insult the Vikings!) I met a really nice guy the other day in the college while I was buying my books. His name was Marty, and he is going to the college for medical lab. work. (really, really complicated stuff. There's no way I could do that.) But, very, very chipper. No wonder we clicked so well. We spoke for a good 20 minutes, then I had to go. I had to get home. He's incrediably happy go lucky. We casually talked for a while, told each other of our scheduals, and told each other that we would have to get together to study sometime. Now...for all you sicko's out there, when I said study, I mean strictly study! smiling and waving head. Anywhews, I do hope to see him in the future. He is such a nice person, (or at least seems to be) and I'm sure we would make really good friends. Mercy, school starts for me tomorrow. Nooooooo! I'm not ready to go back quite yet! Give me another two weeks of Christmas vacation, and then I should be ready. I'm pretty nervous about my upcoming classes. They are going to be a lot harder than the ones I had last semester, so wish me luck. This whole semester, my life is going to re-valve around nothing but homework. If you could, say a little prayer for me. I'm pretty sure I literally have to pull straight A's, so please say a prayer for me when it comes to grades. I'm going to give it my best shot, (nervously fiddling with fingers) but I'm not too sure if I'm going to be able to pull it off. I really don't want to dissapoint my parents... Besides that, nothing much has happened here. I'll talk to you all later! Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
10:45 am	Hey there people again! Well... I just finished my first two finals, and I have to say I didn't think they were too bad. I studied my living brains out for the things, so I think I did pretty well. I have my speech final tomorrow and then my pharmacology one on Thursday. I'm worried about the pharmacology one. I think I have the two hundred medications finally memorized, but the section on all the chapters we've been through is going to be a doozy. The speech final won't be bad at all. It's only going to be a one hour final, the pharmacology is going to be a three hour one. So wish me luck! (cringing... I'm going to need it.) The subject of relationships came up the other night. I actually spoke to my mom for a long time about it, and it was very nice. I told her how down I am on relationships and how much I believe that when I do eventually get back into the dating thing, the same thing is going to happen to me. I'm going to get with a guy who seems to have his act together, but after a year or two is going to do something to really hurt me again. My mom said that if a guy really loves me, he wouldn't do something like that, but that's the whole problem! I don't know, I'm just not going to be in relationships for a long, long time. I've had my fill of them. At least when I'm alone there is no way that I can be hurt. Well, that's about all that's about all that's happening here. I'm just trying to concentrate on school right now. I might get a job for this upcoming semester in college. I thought college was going to be a whole lot harder than it turned out to be. Soooooo, I figured I might as well get a job to fill up the free time. :) Well I should be going now. I have some people who are waiting to play cards with me in the student lounge. Later!!!! Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 14th, 2004
6:28 pm	Very, very, very bad day.. Hey there peoples! I'm actually pretty tired today. It's been a very long week, and it just got longer this morning when I had to go and have my puppy Ozzzy put to sleep. He's had really bad arthritis for a long time, and we (my family and I) decided it was time to let him go. I lost my baby of 13 years. Ozzy's always been my baby. I miss him terribly already. I know that all of this probably sounds stupid, and I know he's a dog, but he's a member of our family. I'm going to give my mom a call later and see if she's doing better. She started crying. My mom and I may drive each other crazy at times, but if there's one person I can't stand to see cry, it has to be her. I'm pretty bumed right now, and I still have this lump in my throat which seems to be doing nothing but grow. ( probably because I haven't let anything out yet.) Well, my mom started crying, and the last thing my parents need to see is another girl crying. I don't know.. I'm just pretty down right now because of it. I'm actually with Mary right now, who has been very destracting when it comes to this matter. Mary, when you read this, thank you. God Bless that girl. Anywhews, I should be going now. I'm very very very sleepy and should maybe take it easy a bit. Thanks for listening. :) Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 7th, 2004
12:33 am	stupid movies I know it's pretty flippin late, but I have to speak my mind. For all those who are about to read, I'm so sorry I'm troubling you. I was just watching a movie a little while ago, "The Butterfly Effect", and for some reason at the end the thought, "I might be alone" came to mind. When I say alone, I mean forever. Sadly, whenever I have thoughts like this, I really get the urge to run back to Josh. Take what I can get... what if I can't do any better? I have to face reality, I'm not attractive in any way and I'm not even close to being pretty. The chances of me attracting another guy are very, very slim. It really scares me to think of growing old alone. A stupid fear...maybe. But one I can't shake. The question "what if he was the one" keeps flowing through my mind. Despite the fact he cheated on me, that worry remains. Maybe I should just concentrate on the one question, "How the heck am I going to get over this?" instead of the others... I have too many thoughts in my mind... far too many thoughts.... Heh... guess I'm not near as strong as I thought I was. I'm so dissapointed in myself... (1 Comment |Comment on this)